M & Ms: Colorful candy fun. 'Nuf said. Uh, they actually melt in your hand.
Tootsie Pops : That owl is right, can't not take a bite! They make you drool when you eat them.
Nerds: Two flavors? One box? Makes a fun sound in your pocket too. They're like eating small rocks.
Reese's Pieces: ET Phone Home indeed! Pretty great. Stolen idea from M&Ms just with peanut butter inside. Original.
Twizzlers: Licorice at it's best. Licorice? What is this 1850 at old Pop Wiggledy's sweet shop?
Gobstoppers: Great candy to suck on. They'll break your teeth.
Blow Pops: Gum inside of a lollipop, genius! Your teeth hurt from so much sugar at the end of it.
Laffy Taffy: Delicious flavors with great colors! The jokes are corny. Like 1950's corny.
Twix: Two bars of perfectness. Why are there two bars? Can't it just be one bigger bar?
Kit Kat: Wafer and chocolate at it's best. Gimme a break, these are boring.
Dots: Classic gum drops. These'll pull your fillings out.
Skittles: Taste the Rainbow? Yes please! Literally balls of sugar, blah!
Mike and Ikes: Fun colors. Fun flavors. Fun all around. Aren't these just glorified jelly beans?
Candy Corn: Iconic Halloween treats! It's like sugar and wax made a baby.
Almond Joy: Coconut is underused in candy, delish! This one has nuts too, right? Who buys this?
Smarties: Nice alternative to M&Ms. These are sawdust with powdered sugar.
Snickers: Perfect blend of caramel, chocolate and peanuts. Aren't we bored with this yet? Move on.
Butterfinger: Totally unique use of peanut butter. Wait, that's actually cripsy peanut butter? What's crispy peanut butter?
Milk Duds: Nothing fancy, but just good, awesome candy. Wait, they're 'duds'? Duds of what exactly? Milk?
Milky Way: Caramel, nougat, chocolate. Mmmmmm. It's a 3 Muskateers with caramel. Get over it.
Hershey Bar: Classic bar of chocolate. Boring bar of chocolate.
Whoppers: Chocolate milk balls, perfect. What's malted milk anyway? Shouldn't we be concerned?
Baby Ruth: Peanuts, caramel, nougat - this has everything! It's like a bad Snickers.
Tootsie Rolls: Simple. Easy. Great memories. Got it. It's just a roll of weird brown sugar glop.
Peanut Butter Cups: Putting chocolate with peanut butter - so smart That peanut butter is pretty chalky.
100 Grand: Great mix of caramel and chocolate and puffed rice, who knew! Isn't this just a Crunch bar with caramel?
Starbursts: They're not too sticky and not too waxy either. Great flavors! The Cherry ones taste like medicine.
Rolos: Caramel inside chocolate. Can't eat just one. The shape is the only thing unique here.
Hot Tamales: Spice up your night. These are just cinnamon flavored jelly beans, right?
Jolly Ranchers: Watermelon are the best. Right? They stick to your teeth and what's up with getting the wrappers off if they've been in your pocket for a minute or two?
3 Musketeers: Nougat! Nougat? What's nougat? Does anyone need this much nougat?
Dum Dums: Some of the best flavors of all-time. Could they be smaller? I mean honestly.